goosebumps in my heart

i am a tranquil person 

i live my life alone 

things around me never changes 

coz shifting things chases the sanity out of me 

 you are a traveling person 

in one place you never stay for long 

far before i have seen you 

you vowed to make me turn 

 we live in a crazy world 

where ordinary life is not accepted 

everything has to be outrageous sometimes 

to spice up this life of ours 

i feel that you have pursued me 

and long before, i have felt that you did 

i ran away as fast as i could 

trying to hide beneath this clear facade 

you scare me, i am frightened 

by your sweet words, i have fallen 

i doubt, i am stricken 

with a love i am sure to go unspoken 

 as hard as i could, i want to dash away from you 

this is how you affect me 

darling don't scare me. 

here i am in this changing world 

i thought, my silence i could preserve 

but here you come, you've changed my life 

something that has never happened before 

presumptuously, you stole my heart 

before my very eyes, you picked it 

dazed it left me 

in a flash i knew not where it was 

you scare me, leaving goosebumps in my heart 

i am afraid by the seriousness of this comedy 

i am unsure where my place is 

in this whole candlelit, eerie space 

 i fear to tread on stormy waters 

the ponds, the lakes, i revere 

but the whole calmness of your love betrays the deep raging i feel 

 how can you be so sure? 

the world turns like a top 

so fast it goes and then stops 

i fear you'll halt before i know 

 so high, so down 

carousel-like is how it feels 

spin me fast, pull me abrupt 

it leaves me in a whirling frame of mind 

how far will this go? 

i fear i may stumble 

sweet words i cannot return 

in my grim condition, i moan 

 the winding road that leads to you 

bumps and turns, it is made of 

at every corner, it threatens 

from your shadow, i want to run from 

the straight road lead to me 

no hills, no cracks 

but wary, that i am 

suspense and fear is what i live for 

hair stands on its ends 

for face value i cannot trust 

so beautiful it looks 

but it drops like a ride on a run away coaster 

easy it would not be, 

long before i knew 

have pity on my shocked heart 

it dangles on a feeble string 

so quickly tossed, like the waves 

it is ever-mindful of this changing seasons 

i have to believe this won't last long 

coz forever scares the daylights out of me 

i have to believe my heart won't shatter.

learn to stand up where you've fallen

how far can you get?
how serious can you be?
when you have had it in your hands, are you willing to let it go?

'cause you were giving me a chance but i threw it away.
you were willing to love me but i was my skeptic self
i did not want to have to trust you or your words
i wanted to be left alone
i did not believe that it could happen, that it was possible.

how gullible can i be in the face of a passing time
why did i have to lean on my fears and not on my saving grace
where am i going, can you please tell me?

because life gave me an opportunity yet i ignored it
i have been waiting to learn to love
but at first glance, i shied away from it
your intentions were clear as day
i suspected you were something gray.

now i ask myself, where are you?
now my life is back
if i could catch you once again, will you still love me?

i am a cynic in my own right
but romance is in your breast so tight
i am cold-hearted and you are warm
i wanna feel you in my arms
are you real? will you stay?
are you serious or is this mere wordplay?

i have spent my sleeping hours thinking of you
i reserved my waking moments dreaming of you
i fantasized that things would come true
i never knew i was meant to be blue
i was starting to fall
i am lucky something caught me before i stumbled
i might not have fallen
but my mind wanders as if i have been loosened

nothing to think of, nothing to fear
no dreams to chase, no one to speak
no message, no love
i live to be unloved, forgotten
in the course of time, i am rotten.

learn to love when it comes
know it by its silver mane
sheath it, crown it
tie it and hold it
never let it go
because i, forever, will never know.